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Once you are done reading these, go HERE.
- If you are a UPWARD BOUND or BOYS STATE student, you are not allowed on here.
- I'm From the Government. I'm Here to Help You.
- Old Skiers Never Die. They Just go Downhill.
- Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.
- Have You Hugged Your Stockbroker Today?
- My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
- Viginity can be cured.
- Ribbed for your pleasure.
- Sex is dirty only if done right.
- Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
- This won't hurt, I promise
- Love comes in spurts.
- Walk softly and always carry a armored tank division.
- If you can't hang get off the porch.
- Contents may cause mild irritation.
- Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.
- No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.
- My Child Can Beat Up Your Honor Student.
- Don't Laugh - Your Daughter Might Be In Here. (On Old Truck)
- Cats Flattened While You Watch.
- I May Be Fat but You're Ugly - and I Can Lose Weight.
- Stamp Out Crime - Abolish the IRS.
- Dare to keep the CIA off Drugs.
- Just say no to sexist Pro-Lifers.
- My Other Car is a Broom.
- Quit Sniveling.
- Stupid People Shouldn't Breed.
- Not All Men are Fools. Some are Bachelors.
- Happiness is Coming.
- Husbands Are Proof That Women Have a Sense of Humor.
- Forget the Whales, Save the Cowboy.
- Hug Your Kids at Home and Belt Them in the Car.
- Illiterate? Call This Number for Help...
- Welcome to Colorado - Now Go Home.
- Smile - Its The Second Best Thing you can do with Your Lips.
- Will Work for Sex.
- Don't Honk - I'm Pedaling as Fast as I Can.
- This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random.
- Black Holes Suck.
- If you don't like the way i drive, stay off the sidewalk...
- If you can't stop, wave as you go under. (on a monster truck)
- This relationship just isn't working.
- We need to talk.
- You might need to watch your step, so be ready to jump at any time.
- If you fall then you won't be able to get it up.
- If there is grass on the field play balls.
- If you are in trouble, then maybe you can find the A-Team.
- You break it you buy it.
- Follow the Yellow Brick road.
- Or you could just play the CHEER'S theme song, if in bad enough trouble.
- Warning, doors maybe welded shut.
- Poker in the front, liquor in the rear.
- If it don't smell, eat as much as possible.
- Mmmmmmmm tastes like chicken.
- Watch for ice on bridges.
- Watch for falling rocks, and bricks.
- Slippery when dry.
- It's just as simple as to look as it is to touch.
- If it ain't broke don't fix it.
- Open other end if the other don't work.
- Open mouth insert foot and swallow.
- NO, NO, pull your lip over your head and swallow.
- Load Letter.
- Might perform an illegal operation, and may shut down.
- This page will self-destruct in 5 seconds---I pity the fool.
- Just hit your head here.
- Don't let the bed bugs bite.
- Limp on time of discharge.
- If you can't get it up try harder.
- Ask your mommy for the cure of pearl tongue.
- Don't be discouraged if you get the big f**k you channel.
- Don't be affraid to whip the little feller out.
- Turn to the darkside if you are in trouble.
- It is you destiny.
- You are not my FATHER.
- Thats it the rebels are there.
- What the HELL.
- If you want to meet GOD, please drive through.
- This product is meant for educational purposes only.
- Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purley coincidental.
- Void where prohibited.
- Some assembly required.
- List each check separately by bank number.
- Batteries not included.
- Stay out of the garage if you can't stand the fumes.
- Contents may settle during shipment.
- Use only as directed.
- No other warranty expressed or implied.
- Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
- Postage will be paid by addressee.
- Subject to CAB approval.
- This is not an offer to sell securities.
- Apply only to affected area.
- May be too intense for some viewers.
- Do not stamp.
- Use other side for additional listings.
- For recreational use only.
- Do not disturb.
- All models over 18 years of age.
- If condition persists, consult your physician.
- No user-serviceable parts inside.
- Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
- Subject to change without notice.
- Times approximate.
- Simulated picture.
- No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
- Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
- For off-road use only.
- As seen on TV.
- One size fits all.
- Many suitcases look alike.
- Contains a substaintial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
- Colors may, in time, fade.
- We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you.
- Slippery when wet.
- For office use only.
- Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
- Drop in any mailbox.
- Edited for television.
- Keep cool; process promptly.
- Post office will not deliver without postage.
- List was current at time of printing.
- Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
- Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
- resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
- At participating locations only.
- Penalty for private use.
- See label for sequence.
- Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
- Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.
- Do not write below this line.
- Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
- Your cancelled check is your recipt.
- Add toner.
- Place stamp here.
- Avoid contact with skin.
- Sanitized for your protection.
- Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
- Sign here without admitting guilt.
- Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
- Employees and their families are not eligible.
- Beware of dog.
- Beware of cats.
- Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
- Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery.
- You must be present to win.
- No passes accepted for this engagement.
- No purchase necessary.
- Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
- Shading within a garment may occur.
- Use only in well-ventilated area.
- Keep away from fire or flame.
- Replace with same type.
- Approved for veterans.
- Booths for two or more.
- Check here if tax deductible.
- Some equipment shown is optional.
- Price does not include taxes.
- No Canadian coins.
- Not recommended for children.
- Prerecorded for this time zone.
- BYOB.
- Reproduction strictly prohibited.
- No solicitors.
- No alcohol, dogs, or horses.
- No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
- Restaurant package, not for resale.
- List at least two alternate dates.
- First pull up, then pull down.
- Call toll free before digging.
- Driver does not carry cash.
- Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only.
- Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
- This supersedes all previous notices.