Thank you for venturing into the opinions and interpretations section of the Jim Wade’s Sucky Primus Page. As you may ahve already guessed, this particular page within this section is not finished, far from it actually. I really want people to participate in this, so it’s not just me. I have examples of what I’m looking for on the “Frizzle Fry Opinions” page, just so you know what I’m looking for. You can send opinions for any Primus song, but please make the subject “Opinion.” Thanks in advance for helping me with this.

Jim  wadej@citrine.indstate.edu

Primus

Pork Soda

FACT: Released in 1993

OPINION: This

Pork Chop’s Little Ditty

  • LYRICS: None.
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

My Name is Mud

  • LYRICS: My name is Mud
    Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
    My name is Mud and it's always been
    'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-bitch you've ever seen
    I dress in blue-yes navy blue from head to toe
  • I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
    I make 'em shine, well most the time
    'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
    Six foot two and rude as hell
    I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell

    My name is Mud 
                                
  • My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
    That's long for Mud so I've been told
    Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me
    bloated blue and cold
    I've got my pride, I drink my wine
    I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
    Or were it years
    The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
    We had our words, a common spat
    So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat

    My name is Mud  
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

Welcome to this World

  • LYRICS: Oh, welcome to this world of fools
    Of pink champagne and swimming pools
    Well, all you have to lose is your virginity
    Perhaps we'll have some fun tonight
    So stick around and take a bite of life
    We don't need feebleness in this proximity
                       
    Ask good MacDuff and Donalbain,
    So many good ideas are slain
    By those who would dare not step out of line
    But if I have my way tonight
    And chances are I think I might-
    I'll turn those sour minds to grapes of wine
                       
    Welcome to this world
                       
    Don't judge the boy by what you hear
    The words are heard beyond the ear
    The heart and mind are focus for this conversation
    But be abound in mystery for that so much you do to me
    For there are those who drown in adulation
                       
    Welcome to this world
                       
    If I had a dime for each time that I heard them preach
    Well I'd have wicked thoughts upon my brain
                       
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

Bob

  • LYRICS: I had a friend that took a belt, took a belt and hung himself
    Hung himself in the doorway of the apartment where he lived
    His woman and his little bro came home from the grocery store
    Only to find him dangling in the apartment where he lived

    I had a friend who shaved his head
    Put his Doctor Martins on
    And drew such wonderous pictures in the apartment where he lived
    He praised my creativity, though he spoke sarcastically
    Oh, the conversations in the apartment where he lived 

    I had a friend that took a belt, took a belt and hung himself
    Hung himself in the doorway of the apartment where he lived
    Rock, she thought him spiteful;
    Ler, he thought him pitiful
    Me, I've never been back to the apartment where he lived   
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

DMV

  • LYRICS: I've been to hell. I spell it... I spell it DMV
    Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
    Stood there and I've waited and choked back the urge to scream
    And if I had my druthers I'd screw a chimpanzee

    call it pointless

    When I need relief I spell it THC
    Perhaps you may know vaguely what I mean
    I sit back and smoke away huge chunks of memory
    As I slowly inflict upon
    myself a full lobotomy
                              
  • call it pointless
                                        
  • Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease
    There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese
    Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs,
    but there are unpleasantries
    Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs
    and trips to DMV
                                        
  • call it pointless

    I've been to hell. I spell it... I spell it DMV
    Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean
    I've stood in line and waited near an hour and fifteen
    And if I had my druthers I'd screw that chimpanzee
                                        
  • call it pointless
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (From CHEESE) My experiences with the California Department of Motor Vehicles makes me 100% agree with Mr. Claypools interpretation. The DMV is hell, long lines, nobody wants to be there (including the workers apparently) and everyone is bitchy.

     

The Ol’ Diamondback Sturgeon

  • LYRICS: The old diamondback sturgeon came swimmin'along
    Minding his business one day
    Rooting and sniffing and urging to spawn
    In the mud flats of San Pablo Bay
                       
    A scent came around so he followed his snout
    He found what was to his surprise
    A golden morsel, a tidbit, a tight bunch of grass shrimp
    Was there right before this buck's eyes
                       
    He circle round twice and he took a big whiff
    Then sucked up this savory meal
    Then came a jolt and to the diamondback's surprise
    Through his lips cut the cold, barbed steel
                       
    In a panic the old diamondback sped to the north
    He sped to the east, west and south
    But the harder he swam, he still could not break free
    From the "tugging" that pulled at his mouth
                       
    The old diamondback sturgeon came swimmin' along
    Minding his business one day
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

Nature Boy

  • LYRICS: I pull the blinds then I take my clothes off
    Dance around the house like nature boy
    My genitalia and pectoral muscles
    aren't quite what I would like them to be

    But you don't see me
    No one can see me

    I pull my blinds
    Fill out my income tax form
    Pen in hand I write so legibly
    I have my kitty. His name is Allowishus,
    I stroke him

    But you don't see me
    No one should see me

    I pull the blinds
    For the sun glares off my tele
    and I find it quite so irritating
    I have my videos-loads of Ren and Stimpy
    Bottom-a bit of pornography

    But you don't see me
    No one should see me 
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (From CHEESE)Basically saying you never know who the true individual is. Nobody can see him do all of these things, so nobody knows. Nobody can ever know someone 100%. (

Wounded Knee

  • LYRICS: None.
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

Pork Soda

  • LYRICS: Now listen up you know ya come home from working that nine to five and lay yourself down on burgundy couch, you know, it never really was burgundy. It was red, and you painted with the goddamn sprinkler and now you have bits and pieces of burgundy stuck to your butt every time you get off
    of it. You never tell your family, you never tell your
    family because, you know, ol' Junior, he's got no brains, and what can you do? What can you do? (And old Junior, you know, got a little crazy with that P.B.J. that one day...??)
                       
    Grab yourself a can of pork soda
    You'll be feeling just fine
    Ain't nothin' quite like sittin' 'round the house
    Swillin' down them Cans of swine
                       
    Ha ha ha! Yes, Dad's an idiot alright! Well, alright, I'm really starting to worry about you. You had to have that two-car garage with the large driveway so you could park that goddamn boat in it. If it wasn't for the boat (blah blah blah)
    I like Kansas wine... Well, maybe it's something simpler, like your team lost or your girlfriend used to be a guy, you know, I don't know. I mean.. (blah blah blah)
                       
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

The Pressman

  • LYRICS: By the light of the lamp I sit to type
    my notes on tab at my side.
    I don't see the sun much these days,
    a fluorescent tan covers my hide.
     
  • How much impact shall I have this time?
    My goal today is to reach the deadline.
    I write between the lines. I deal with fantasy.
    I report the facts. Give them to me, please.
                                   
  • Ham and egg salad on white bread...
    keeps me company on nights like this.
    A pack of mentholated cigarettes....
    keeps my air nice and thick.
                                   
  • When I write, words flow like coins from a candy box.
    Get out of my way. I've got something to say!
                                   
  • The pulse is beating louder now.
    The cramps in my hands grow more intense
    with each tik, tik, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap on the keys.
    My social life is at an end so it seems to be.
                                   
  • Why don't I trample on your lawn today?
    I'll take skies of blue, turn over old skies of grey.
    I write between the lines. I deal with fantasy.
    I am the pressman. Acknowledge me!
                                   
  • Mother always told me never stray too far from home.
    The little lady said, "Boy, you'll never have to be alone, because..."
    You build with fountain pen.
    You create the memory stain
    You are the pressman.
    Stand up straight, boy. 
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

Mr. Krinkle

  • LYRICS: Hello Mr. Krinkle
    How are you today?
    Seems the rumors are about
    your team might move away
    Now, me I'm sentimental
    But I'm not one to cry
                       
    Say there Mr. Krinkle
    let's cruise the Bastard boat
    Damn then sonsabitches
    with their gill-nets set afloat
    I flip on my tele and I watch the waters die
    C'mon Mr. Krinkle tell me why
                       
    Hey ho Mr. Krinkle
    have you heard the brand new sound
    It's a cross between Jimi Hendrix
    Bocephus, Cher and James Brown
    It's called "Heavy Hometown"
    New Wave, cold-filtered, low-calorie dry
    C'mon Mr. Krinkle tell me why
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

The Air is Getting Slippery

  • LYRICS: It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here
    It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here
    The air is getting slipper and it's not to my surprise
    My heart, it beats irregularly and the sweat it fills my eyes
    I do not mind what I excrete 'cause I'm here to make a buck
    And those that cannot take the heat can take a
    flying...
    Forgive me if I hesitate

    It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here
                                
    The dogs are barking merrily as Jerry sits on high
    If you've studied your Floyd property,
    you'd know that pigs could fly
    Now if you want an encore you might hear it is luck
    But me, I'd rather play Residents, 'cause I don't give a...
    Forgive me if I hesitate
                              
  • It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here

    Now, Fatty, he's a hell of a guy
    but he sweats like a dancing mule
    He likes to hang out at Checker Gas
    with the Chets he knew from high school
    He sold enough crystal meth to buy a stepside truck
    But if you ask me twice I'd say the boy ain't worth a...
    Forgive me if I hesitate
                              
  • It's incredibly hot in here today, incredibly hot in here

    The act of perspiration is far beyond control
    If the heat compels to aspirate please try not to miss the bowl
    If sweatiness makes you horny,
    well darlin' I think you're in luck
    'Cause all this clever banter
    gives me the urge to FUCK 
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

Hamburger Train

  • LYRICS: None.
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

Pork Chop’s Little Ditty

  • LYRICS: None.
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (

Hail Santa

  • LYRICS: None.
  • FACTS: T
  • OPINION: (