>>          I will not carve gods.
>>          I will not spank others.
>>          I will not aim for the head.
>>          I will not barf unless I'm sick
>>          I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
>>          I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
>>          I will not conduct my own fire drills.
>>          Funny noises are not funny.
>>          I will not snap bras.
>>          I will not fake seizures.
>>          This punishment is not boring and pointless.
>>          My name is not Dr. Death.
>>          I will not defame New Orleans.
>>          I will not prescribe medication.
>>          I will not bury the new kid.
>>          I will not teach others to fly.
>>          I will not bring sheep to class.
>>          A burp is not an answer.
>>          Teacher is not a leper.
>>          Coffee is not for kids.
>>          I will not eat things for money.
>>          I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
>>          The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
>>          I will not call the principal "spud head".
>>          Goldfish don't bounce.
>>          Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
>>          No one is interested in my underpants.
>>          I will not sell miracle cures.
>>          I will return the seeing-eye dog.
>>          I do not have diplomatic immunity.
>>          I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
>>          I will never win an emmy.
>>          The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
>>          All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
>>          I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
>>          I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
>>          My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
>>          I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
>>          I am not deliciously saucy.
>>          Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
>>          The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
>>          I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
>>          There are plenty of businesses like show business.
>>          Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
>>          I will not waste chalk.
>>          I will not skateboard in the halls.
>>          Underwear should be worn on the inside.
>>          The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
>>          I will not torment the emotionally frail.